They say your 20s is a stressful time, a most vulnerable stage and age. There are these expectations and apparently we're supposed to meet them. That's what we're striving for. Make decisions. What if I can't make the right decision? What if, there is no WRONG or right choice? Either way, a choice will lead us somewhere or another. Why then, am I frantically worrying about the right or wrong choice? is it expectation? is it fear? fear of not meeting expectation? in the end: we all live on. There is no final destination. No final step we're all supposed mount on. It's all along the Journey. That is essentially life... this journey, and it's now.
And there seems no point to these expectations others have put on us, and which we've then put on ourselves. We're all trapped in this vicious cycle. Our minds have have reflected themselves onto life itself.
And I guess once you hit rock bottom, you can only tread on an incline from there.
Lyrics keep repeating themselves within the mind, trying to sort them and make sense of them. Trying to relate. Cuz god forbid, we hope we can relate to someone and hope someone knows this excruciating pain or extreme highs we've been feeling.. the feeling to be human. Why the hell are humans pretending they don't feel this feeling to BE human? that frustration of loving someone and it going to waste? not being in control of everything or anyone, including ourselves. We're building facades to be something we're not, ultimately to protect ourselves which isn't actually protecting.
I don't believe in destiny, however I try to believe in something bigger to remain sane and to keep me moving and trekking. I put my trust in hope. Hope that things will get better and suffering is often only temporary but essential to mending and reviving the human spirit.
Trusting in a higher power allows us to let go of some of the responsibility we sometimes feel we have on our shoulders. Everything happens for a reason, and every event is there for us to learn from. If anything, this helps ease the load we sometimes put on our own shoulders. Letting go of some things makes the travelling that much lighter ;)
ReplyDeleteIt seems like you're worrying a lot about expectations. This is something based in the future which makes you anxious and forget this moment. Live in the moment. That is where your power lies. Bask in the magnificence of being here and now, and realize that by simply just being you're doing something amazing as we humans are splendid and complex creatures. Listen to your heart, and if you're confused by what its telling you, meditate and 'empty your cup'.
Thanks for sharing your thoughts :) I hope to see more of your writing!