As a kid, the media constantly pounded through my ears, searching for my mind that it might set that I should be myself. I heard that all over; in my sunday school class by my church leaders, by my father, by the my favorite pop hits, books, movies. I thought I understood the concept but wasn't quite following it, and I became evermore disappointed in myself.
See, in my American mind, it was engrained that being myself meant going out, acting crazy, talking to everybody, hanging out on the weekend... actually having friends. I'd go out and attempt to do that, but I would, in many cases: fail miserably. Growing up, I wasn't known by my volleyball skills, my love for nature, culture and good music, I was known as the "shy girl." For some odd reason, it always had to be brought up. My mind retraces the painful memories as I was asked in almost every social setting: "Why are you so quiet McKenna?" "C'mon McKenna, be a little bit more outgoing." In many cases, I would agree with negative comments, agreed that in order to be successful and to be placed on the top of the social hierarchy, I had to defeat this what-seemed-to-be an innate trait.
In reality, I preferred listening over talking, quitting the small talk and cutting to more sincere conversations, I loved making expressions on my face instead of forcing out comments, I preferred smaller groups to larger groups and I loved spending time by myself, but western society made me feel as though those were just symptoms of a disease called: "introversion." For some god-awful reason, introversion is weakness.. people assumed I didn't like humans, when indeed I loved humans, I just showed it in less known ways.
It hasn't been until the last couple of years I have began to discover my true personality, opinions, likes and dislikes and how extremely important it is to stay true to those traits. I finally feel comfortable in my own skin and knowing my limits.
I have an extremely sensitive personality, meaning sounds, energy, smells, and emotions affect me easily. I'm the one who must sway to music either live or just playing in the local grocery store because I feel it so strongly. I can cry to any movie, music, book or billboard. I am extremely good at laughing when something catches my humor. I can feel the anger through my veins as I find something unjust or when people act irrationally. My emotions are easily stirred by a raindrop, or a sun setting behind a mountain. I find it easy to sympathize with people and understand their personalities. This holds true to group settings, I am highly affected by a lot of energy. While, I love socializing and getting to know people, I can only handle so much of it. After a large party, I have to go home and sit with myself. And often in such a setting, the large amount of people reach the tip of my sensitivity, causing me to be more reclusive.
Finding the strengths of my personality has been relieving. Knowing I don't have to be ashamed for what I was born with. Knowing that it feels so damn good to own my personality. Of course there are things I want to work on about me and parts of introversion that can often hold me back, it's nice to say.. You know what?? I don't feel ashamed for wanting to leave or decline an invitation to a big group setting to read a book or gaze at the stars with just myself and me alone.
Own YOURSELF and your quirks, whether you are extroverted, introverted, gay, straight, mormon, atheist. BE PROUD. There will always be flaws in all of us, but it is for us to decide if they are actually flaws. It's the beauty of being human and being different. Think of how mundane and dysfunctional the world would be if we were all extroverted? or vice versa? We wouldn't have learned the great teachings of Mahatma Gandi (introverted) or be affected by the great power and rhetoric of Martin Luther King Jr. (extroverted) it's all intertwined nicely, until cultures begin preferring one of the personality traits over another.
Thank you.
In reality, I preferred listening over talking, quitting the small talk and cutting to more sincere conversations, I loved making expressions on my face instead of forcing out comments, I preferred smaller groups to larger groups and I loved spending time by myself, but western society made me feel as though those were just symptoms of a disease called: "introversion." For some god-awful reason, introversion is weakness.. people assumed I didn't like humans, when indeed I loved humans, I just showed it in less known ways.
It hasn't been until the last couple of years I have began to discover my true personality, opinions, likes and dislikes and how extremely important it is to stay true to those traits. I finally feel comfortable in my own skin and knowing my limits.
I have an extremely sensitive personality, meaning sounds, energy, smells, and emotions affect me easily. I'm the one who must sway to music either live or just playing in the local grocery store because I feel it so strongly. I can cry to any movie, music, book or billboard. I am extremely good at laughing when something catches my humor. I can feel the anger through my veins as I find something unjust or when people act irrationally. My emotions are easily stirred by a raindrop, or a sun setting behind a mountain. I find it easy to sympathize with people and understand their personalities. This holds true to group settings, I am highly affected by a lot of energy. While, I love socializing and getting to know people, I can only handle so much of it. After a large party, I have to go home and sit with myself. And often in such a setting, the large amount of people reach the tip of my sensitivity, causing me to be more reclusive.
Finding the strengths of my personality has been relieving. Knowing I don't have to be ashamed for what I was born with. Knowing that it feels so damn good to own my personality. Of course there are things I want to work on about me and parts of introversion that can often hold me back, it's nice to say.. You know what?? I don't feel ashamed for wanting to leave or decline an invitation to a big group setting to read a book or gaze at the stars with just myself and me alone.
Own YOURSELF and your quirks, whether you are extroverted, introverted, gay, straight, mormon, atheist. BE PROUD. There will always be flaws in all of us, but it is for us to decide if they are actually flaws. It's the beauty of being human and being different. Think of how mundane and dysfunctional the world would be if we were all extroverted? or vice versa? We wouldn't have learned the great teachings of Mahatma Gandi (introverted) or be affected by the great power and rhetoric of Martin Luther King Jr. (extroverted) it's all intertwined nicely, until cultures begin preferring one of the personality traits over another.
Thank you.
