And while compiling all of the many clothes I want to take to Thailand I have only learned just how materialistic I am and how hard it is for me to part with certain clothing. I'm such a hypocrite to my own words. Also purchasing things for Thailand---- jeeez. Though, as I walked through the Orem mall today, I realized how harmful that place is for me. Whenever I enter a mall my mind begins to have irrational thoughts, such as: "I could be perceived by others so much better in that shirt, or shoes" "if only I looked like her..." "god, why don't i have more money" "when I have a load of money, it'll be spent on such things." This is shit-brained, I tell you. Such things go through my mind, followed by, "McKenna, get out of this place, you're better than that." So considering that I am having those following thoughts, it makes me believe my ego was the one speaking in the first place not my actual rational thoughts. Hmmmmmmmm. Which also makes me believe, it is the ego that is driving more than 50% of my waking life.
As stated in my about me info I am on the road to self discovery, so have patience.
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